Hi. My name is Ryan. I like to write gross yet adorable haiku about vampires. Once I wrote a book of them called Vampire Haiku about a vampire who writes haiku. It's creepy, but the good kind of creepy like midget alien clowns. Head VampireChix Michele sent me an email and told me she liked my vampire poetry. She's sweet. She asked if I would write a guest blog post about my disgustingly cute poetry book during her week long VampBash. Here goes!
Dear people who read VampChix blog,
I would like to talk to you about the art of vampire haiku. Head VampireChix Michele has asked her beloved readers to write a vampire haiku and post it in the comments, so I thought I would give you some pointers. First of all, some of you might be wondering what exactly is a vampire haiku. Vampire haiku is a vampire themed three lined poem that follows the strict syllable structure of a five syllable line, followed by a seven syllable line, ending in another five syllable line. Here is an example:
The vampire poet
has to write his haiku fast
before the blood clots.
The image I'm going for here is that the vampire is using blood as his ink to write a poem. Not quite sure if that one made sense. You see, I have already written a book of over 350 vampire haiku, so coming up with number 351 is a bit of a reach for me. Hopefully you get the point. Let me try again:
Vampire poetry -
hopefully you get the point,
just not in your neck.
That one isn't quite as visual as I would like. How about this one:
tries to hide her pitch black wings
inside her hoodie.
Maybe that doesn't work because nobody thinks of vampires actually turning into bats anymore. Let me try again:
A warm cup of joe
keeps Michele awake all night.
Joe is her neighbor.
I give up. Hopefully you can do better. The best vampire haiku poet gets a signed copy of my book filled with 350 better vampire themed haiku than any of the above ones, so if any of these attempts brought a twisted smile to your face, you might like my book.
Alright here are some vampire haiku writing tips. It is rare to accomplish many of these tips in one haiku, so maybe focus on one or two of these pointers and see what happens.
1. Try to capture one simple image of the vampire in a unique way.
2. Surprise me.
3. Try to look at a vampire stereotype from a new angle.
4. Gross me out.
5. Try to capture a mood or feeling.
6. Focus on something mundane and point out it.
7. Play to your strengths.
8. Focus on the essence of what you like or don't like about vampires.
9. Make fun of vampire stereotypes or vampires in pop culture.
10. Don't rhyme.
Helpful? Probably not, but that's all the help you get from me. I'm excited to see what you guys come up with. Even if you don't consider yourself a person who writes, try giving a vampire haiku a shot. They can be addictive.
Thanks for letting me be a part of your Vamp Bash and I hope you all have a gross Halloween.
CONTEST DETAILS: Enter your vampire haiku by putting it in the comments on today's post. You can enter all week (as with all contests at the VampBash) up until 11:00 pm Friday 30th, but you can only enter once for each contest. Ryan will choose the winner and we will announce the name on Saturday 31st! Lucky winner gets a copy of VAMPIRE HAIKU, signed by Ryan. So give us your best and bloodiest vampire haiku!
Today's hunt features 2 authors. Yes, only two! We're making it easy on you half way through the VampBash. ;-) These are the titles:
NIGHT'S KNIGHTS by Emerian Rich
Severina is an exotic beauty from the jungles of Brazil whose family is brutally murdered by the same man she later calls lover.
Markham is a simple Irish immigrant striving for the American dream in 1860 when coach robbers cause his untimely death.
Julien is a knight who serves as guardian angel to his family but has no clue about his predestined fate.
Vampires on a quest for knowledge attempt to create the perfect offspring, but from the shadows an even more demonic evil threatens their immortality.
Will a powerful mortal named Jespa be the one to save them all?
Emerian is holding a book release party on October 30th. The details are at her blog.
SOME GIRLS BITE by Chloe Neill
Sure, the life of a graduate student wasn’t exactly glamorous, but it was Merit’s. She was doing fine until a rogue vampire attacked her. But he only got a sip before he was scared away by another bloodsucker—and this one decided the best way to save her life was to make her the walking undead.
Turns out her savior was the master vampire of Cadogan House. Now she’s traded sweating over her thesis for learning to fit in at a Hyde Park mansion full of vamps loyal to Ethan “Lord o’ the Manor” Sullivan. Of course, as a tall, green-eyed, four-hundred- year-old vampire, he has centuries’ worth of charm, but unfortunately he expects her gratitude— and servitude. But an inconvenient sunlight allergy and Ethan’s attitude are the least of her concerns. Someone’s still out to get her. Her initiation into Chicago’s nightlife may be the first skirmish in a war—and there will be blood.
Today's scavenger hunt questions are below. To enter to win please send the answers to both questions to email@example.com with VAMPBASH DAY 4 in the subject line. (Do not put the answers in the comments). You can enter up until Friday 30th 11:00 pm. All winners will be announced on Saturday.
1) What are the vampires in Emerian Rich's Night's Knights trying to do? Please visit Emerian's website!
2) What is the series title of Chloe Neill's vampire stories? Please visit Chloe's website!
And a couple extra prizes to give away today as well. To enter to win one of today's prizes (not a part of the scavenger hunt) simply leave a comment on today's post.
VAMPIRES by Joules Taylor
TWILIGHT by Stephanie Meyer
THE T-SHIRT! - Yes, you've seen it featured here at VampChix, and now you want it. But you gotta comment for a chance to win. The Chop Shop has generously donated one t-shirt to a lucky winner. Please stop by their website for other cool items: www.chopshopstore.com. If you love this t-shirt, there are other cool designs (the skull!) that'll make your geek heart shine.
To review: Leave Ryan some love in the comments, along with your awesome vampire haiku! Then visit the author websites and answer the questions (and send to firstname.lastname@example.org) to qualify to win. All comments today will qualify you to win one of the above 3 prizes (Vampires, Twilight, or the T-shirt), but only comments with haikus in them will qualify to win Vampire Haiku. Got it? You can enter any day and any contest up until Friday 30th 11:00 pm!
So you all back here tomorrow for our featured
guest Marcus Pelegrimas and a day of eBook giveaways!
Don't forget, all week use the coupon code VampChix at Vampire.com
to save 10% off your entire purchase!