Quick Reads: From The Lighter Side of Vampires
Vampire…hummingbirds, did you say?
Yes, that’s right, I did.
Sissy the Vampire Hummingbird Slayer is a story I wrote back in 2000. Part satire, part action-adventure, it’s the story of a young woman (“my name’s not Sissy, but I let it go”) who finds herself faced with a most unusual foe: vampire hummingbirds.
In Sissy’s world, ecological damage has wreaked havoc on the little bird’s physiology. The tiny emerald speed demons have learned to prefer the taste of human blood to nectar, and they swarm together in cooperative flocks in order to obtain it.
And you thought mosquitoes were a problem.
The story opens when Sissy, leaving the office after work one day, is attacked by a horde of the vampiric little sword-beaks. Suffering from a hundred puncture wounds, she couples a wild counter-attack with a chaotic advance, and manages to make it to the safety of her car.
Unfortunately, one of the little peewees makes it inside with her. In a blustering demonstration to the hovering bloodsuckers outside that she is not a person to trifled with, she accidentally kills the little creature, and the hummers outside go nuts. Sissy chalks it up as just another day in a world gone Harlan Ellison, and heads home to her apartment.
Upon her arrival at the complex, she finds tattered neighbor Sal Osseo downstairs in the garage, injured and unable to make his way inside. Sissy lends a hand. Loading Sal into a nearby grocery cart, she rolls him upstairs and into his apartment, where she realizes with sinking heart that thousands of vampire hummingbirds have found their way into Sal’s apartment--and they are bent on revenge.
A quick read with a camp feel, Sissy the Vampire Hummingbird Slayer has been called flying chaos, and Sissy herself has been compared to both Seinfeld and MacGyver. A free read from me to you, it’s available for most ebook readers from Smashwords.com. Follow this link: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/16623, or check your favorite ebook catalog.
About the author: HL Montgomery’s favorite vampires are Gerald Tarrant, of CS Friedman’s Coldfire Trilogy, and Jim Butcher’s White Court vampires from the Dresden Files (the books, not the series.) In addition to Sissy the Vampire Hummingbird Slayer, Montgomery is also the author of Skinwalker Moon. A novel of broken love, desperate reunion, and one man’s terrible retribution, it revolves around the Native American shapeshifter known as a skinwalker. Learn more about these stories and others at www.HLMontgomery.com.