Today's guest post comes to us courtesy of Justin Gustainis, author of Known Devil and creator of the Occult Crimes Unit. Enjoy! ~Anna
Stan Markowski’s Favorite “Supe” Jokes
Stan Markowski is a Detective Sergeant in the Scranton (PA) Occult Crimes Unit. He lives in a world where supernatural creatures really exist, and everyone knows it – so there are plenty of occult crimes to investigate.
Stan has a friend in Lacey Brennan, a cop in nearby Wilkes-Barre who has a job similar to his. But Lacey has a bad habit – every time she talks to Stan she begins the conversation with a dumb “supe” joke. Stan has known Lacey for some time, so he’s heard quite a number of “howlers.” Here are a few of the best (although everything’s relative).
How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?
That depends on what you want it changed into.
These two tourists from East Podunk walk into a bar in Scranton one night. The place is crowded, so it takes a while to get service. There’s a guy sitting at a table near the window, and while the tourists are waiting, the moon comes out from behind the clouds and casts its light through the window. Within a minute the guy has been transformed into a growling, howling werewolf. When the waiter finally gets to the tourists’ table and asks for their order, one of them points toward the werewolf. “We’ll have what he’s having.”
A group of lawyers went camping in the mountains of Transylvania. They spent a week sleeping outdoors, but not one of them was attacked by a vampire. Know why? Professional courtesy.
A zombie shambles into a bar. “What’ll you have?” the bartender asks him.
It takes a while, but the zombie finally manages to say, “Urggh … double scotch.”
The bartender serves him and says, “That’ll be ten dollars.”
The zombie fishes out a ten and drops it on the bar.
“You know, we don’t get many zombies in here,” the bartender says.
The zombie takes a drink. “These prices … uhhhh … not surprised.”
What do you get if you cross a vampire with a dwarf?
Something undead that keeps biting your kneecap.
A vampire walks into a bar with a parrot perched on top of his head. The bartender looks at him and says, “Where the hell did you get that?”
“Transylvania,” the parrot says. “There’s thousands of them.”